I legitimately fear I might act like this. But I hope not too much
My wife wanted me to clarify that I don't endorse or think I will do the content, but rather that I will hold my child on my lap and ventriliquize him/her. Its just really funny to me because its childish guys with children, and the outcome is hilarious and naughty.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Refresh Continued
Well, I know it has been ridiculously long since I have last posted, which doesn't work the best with a to-be-continued but here we go. This is roughly what I want my life to be about in January 2009.
I want to have more disciplined time with God, I have time in the bible and in prayer, but it isn't what it could be, nor is it what I want it to be. I also want to be more patient; in light of my impending fatherhood, I know that my patience needs to increase, so I am working on it, and more importantly praying about it. In other personal areas I have realized that I'm pretty selfish when it comes to things around the home and such, so I am working on changing my attitude, my heart and mind, about that.
A big area that I am working on, which will affect everything else in my life, is that I am working on better time management skills. I don't really have much in the way of those right now, and I know that the things I want to do on a weekly basis, coupled with my added business from parenthood will most definitely need me to be better at this.
I hope to focus my time so that I can devote more time to interests like reading, writing, guitar playing and worship leading, and simply being with my wife. And on that note... I want to be better at making time for my wife as my wife, not as my co-director, not as my room-mate and house-mate, or the mother of my child, but as the woman I love and fell in love with.
I lastly want to make a commitment to writing. Specifically in this blog, and generally creating more content where I am engaging my struggles, questions, hopes, and triumphs as I go along with life. I have a goal to start being involved in writing specifically in the literary sphere by submitting articles to the Burnside Writers' Collective, a Portland based online magazine for Christians (probably classified as emergent). I am also trying to get my teeth into the publishing world by helping my friend and former High School football coach, Tom Smythe, by reading a manuscript of his (not like I'm the editor, just another set of eyes).
I realize these things are pretty ethereal and undefinable, but they are what God has placed on my heart as areas I need to work on, so, I'm doing that. Any other thoughts on things to work on in '08? Shout 'em out.
OIL
I want to have more disciplined time with God, I have time in the bible and in prayer, but it isn't what it could be, nor is it what I want it to be. I also want to be more patient; in light of my impending fatherhood, I know that my patience needs to increase, so I am working on it, and more importantly praying about it. In other personal areas I have realized that I'm pretty selfish when it comes to things around the home and such, so I am working on changing my attitude, my heart and mind, about that.
A big area that I am working on, which will affect everything else in my life, is that I am working on better time management skills. I don't really have much in the way of those right now, and I know that the things I want to do on a weekly basis, coupled with my added business from parenthood will most definitely need me to be better at this.
I hope to focus my time so that I can devote more time to interests like reading, writing, guitar playing and worship leading, and simply being with my wife. And on that note... I want to be better at making time for my wife as my wife, not as my co-director, not as my room-mate and house-mate, or the mother of my child, but as the woman I love and fell in love with.
I lastly want to make a commitment to writing. Specifically in this blog, and generally creating more content where I am engaging my struggles, questions, hopes, and triumphs as I go along with life. I have a goal to start being involved in writing specifically in the literary sphere by submitting articles to the Burnside Writers' Collective, a Portland based online magazine for Christians (probably classified as emergent). I am also trying to get my teeth into the publishing world by helping my friend and former High School football coach, Tom Smythe, by reading a manuscript of his (not like I'm the editor, just another set of eyes).
I realize these things are pretty ethereal and undefinable, but they are what God has placed on my heart as areas I need to work on, so, I'm doing that. Any other thoughts on things to work on in '08? Shout 'em out.
OIL
Friday, January 4, 2008
Refresh
The new year is always a great time for me. Beside the fact that it takes me longer to switch the date over when I sign on papers, checks and things that, the start of a new year gives me a chance to take stock of my life. There are the obvious vocational refreshers that happen at the new year; reviews, goals and reports, but I really enjoy seeing where I am and where I have b een and where I am going in my personal and spiritual life during this time. Our lives were created cyclically; we have a diurnal cycle (day and night), we have rough monthly lunar cycles, and we have yearly cycles, originally based upon our planet's rotation around the sun and including seasonal changes.
Call me pagan, but I love how before Pope Gregory, the New Year celebrations occurred in April, aligning with Spring's advent. This happened because everyone associated Spring with new beginnings and therefore the new year. This now happens for us in the dead (figuratively and literally) of winter. Even though our New Year's lacks the amazing visual metaphor of spring, it is great to look at our life and figure out the bad things that need to die, and the new good things that need to come alive.
Looking at my life over 2007 it literally has been a year of change for me. I moved to the Island of Oahu in Hawaii and started a new job as a Youth ministry intern working equally with my wife, with whom I shared an office and a two bedroom cottage. We went through the transitions of first-year marriage and were blessed to have everything come to a head quickly and then get resolved pretty quickly. Try staying mad at someone you share a bed with, share an office with, and share responsibility with; the problems don't go away with distance because there is no distance. Like I said, that made for some more difficult moments, but the outcome is that our marriage rocks; we have worked out so much in such a short period of time that we enjoy each other alot more.
Just about when we were feeling comfortable doing the apprentice thing, our leadership decided that we want to expand our church's role and maximize our leadership. That involved our Youth Ministry Pastor moving into other areas, and Anni and I filling that void in Youth Ministry. We were promoted to Student Ministry Directors in December and now enjoy the challenges of leading two ministries instead of just one.
One thing I think I was good at before was being a college guy. everyone knows the type, pretty irresponsible (and I enjoyed that), late for stuff, bad at communicating, just happy doing my own thing. When I got married it was a little weird at first. I knew how to be a college guy, I felt like i was pretty good at that, I had a grasp of LA as my home; but when I got married that stuff was supposed to change. To say the least it doesn't really feel like much changes at first, yea there are the obvious things (sharing a bed and a constant companion) but you don't necessarily feel any different. I feel blessed that in 2007 even though I don't really know what it means to be a husband, at least I feel like one and Annie and I feel like we are a real family. To me this is a giant and monumental thing that when you try to put it into words makes you sound like a second-grader. But the truth of the matter is, when you get married things are different, and it doesn't feel like it at first, but slowly that changes and instead of feeling like we are a couple, I feel like we are a family.
Then comes the bomb. right around the time we celebrated our first anniversary and I turned 24, it hits. Annie is pregnant and our world is about to change 2 years earlier than planned. Like I said, I don't really know what it means to be a husband and I am doing the best I can to live that out, but i had just begun to fee the reality of it. Now I am faced with this fast approaching new reality. A two foot wonder of existence that depends on Annie and I for everything. I think God gave us pregnancy so we could have 9-10 months to mentally prepare for being responsible to make a good person, but right now even that isn't feeling like a ton of time. It's awesome though, and aside from Annie's terrible sickness, I really enjoy this process.
Well, I am running out of time. One of my students is going to the beach and I need to get out there and bodysurf with him, maybe try to bring another student in the process. Yes these are the perils of working with youth in Hawaii. Anyway, this is where I've been and where I am. Stay tuned for where I am going. Until then, peace
Call me pagan, but I love how before Pope Gregory, the New Year celebrations occurred in April, aligning with Spring's advent. This happened because everyone associated Spring with new beginnings and therefore the new year. This now happens for us in the dead (figuratively and literally) of winter. Even though our New Year's lacks the amazing visual metaphor of spring, it is great to look at our life and figure out the bad things that need to die, and the new good things that need to come alive.
Looking at my life over 2007 it literally has been a year of change for me. I moved to the Island of Oahu in Hawaii and started a new job as a Youth ministry intern working equally with my wife, with whom I shared an office and a two bedroom cottage. We went through the transitions of first-year marriage and were blessed to have everything come to a head quickly and then get resolved pretty quickly. Try staying mad at someone you share a bed with, share an office with, and share responsibility with; the problems don't go away with distance because there is no distance. Like I said, that made for some more difficult moments, but the outcome is that our marriage rocks; we have worked out so much in such a short period of time that we enjoy each other alot more.
Just about when we were feeling comfortable doing the apprentice thing, our leadership decided that we want to expand our church's role and maximize our leadership. That involved our Youth Ministry Pastor moving into other areas, and Anni and I filling that void in Youth Ministry. We were promoted to Student Ministry Directors in December and now enjoy the challenges of leading two ministries instead of just one.
One thing I think I was good at before was being a college guy. everyone knows the type, pretty irresponsible (and I enjoyed that), late for stuff, bad at communicating, just happy doing my own thing. When I got married it was a little weird at first. I knew how to be a college guy, I felt like i was pretty good at that, I had a grasp of LA as my home; but when I got married that stuff was supposed to change. To say the least it doesn't really feel like much changes at first, yea there are the obvious things (sharing a bed and a constant companion) but you don't necessarily feel any different. I feel blessed that in 2007 even though I don't really know what it means to be a husband, at least I feel like one and Annie and I feel like we are a real family. To me this is a giant and monumental thing that when you try to put it into words makes you sound like a second-grader. But the truth of the matter is, when you get married things are different, and it doesn't feel like it at first, but slowly that changes and instead of feeling like we are a couple, I feel like we are a family.
Then comes the bomb. right around the time we celebrated our first anniversary and I turned 24, it hits. Annie is pregnant and our world is about to change 2 years earlier than planned. Like I said, I don't really know what it means to be a husband and I am doing the best I can to live that out, but i had just begun to fee the reality of it. Now I am faced with this fast approaching new reality. A two foot wonder of existence that depends on Annie and I for everything. I think God gave us pregnancy so we could have 9-10 months to mentally prepare for being responsible to make a good person, but right now even that isn't feeling like a ton of time. It's awesome though, and aside from Annie's terrible sickness, I really enjoy this process.
Well, I am running out of time. One of my students is going to the beach and I need to get out there and bodysurf with him, maybe try to bring another student in the process. Yes these are the perils of working with youth in Hawaii. Anyway, this is where I've been and where I am. Stay tuned for where I am going. Until then, peace
Monday, December 24, 2007
Coming
well, I had this post that was about what God is showing me during this Christmas season, but as I was making it up everything got jacked up and I reverted to the saved version, which is about half way done. Anyway, a big post is coming, so head's up. Meanwhile, we said goodbye to our guests, Katie and Preston, and our dog Rowdy looks like the saddest mopiest dog ever. He really misses them. Anyway, some new pictures will be up soon, but before will be the story. OIL
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Daddy
Yes, it's true. Annie and I are pregnant and our baby is due in late June. We are super excited for this new, big thing in our lives, but we definitely feel a little nervous sometimes (are you kidding me, we are responsible for making sure this person is not totally screwed up?!?!?!?). Anyway, we don't know if it's a boy or a girl and our plan is to stay surprised till we can look down and say "Oh. there it is," "or isn't" (that's a Friends quote by the way). Anyway, we are using these 9 months to get our house ready, to get our minds ready, and to hopefully make sure our marriage is ready.
I am in the process of writing a little diddy about when Annie told me, so hopefully that comes here soon, but in the meantime. here are pics of our little meatloaf
By the way. It was absolutely crazy to see this ultrasound because not only was the heart beating super fast, but also the little arms and legs were moving and it looked for a second like our kid was waving at us. peace dudes
I am in the process of writing a little diddy about when Annie told me, so hopefully that comes here soon, but in the meantime. here are pics of our little meatloaf
By the way. It was absolutely crazy to see this ultrasound because not only was the heart beating super fast, but also the little arms and legs were moving and it looked for a second like our kid was waving at us. peace dudes
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Coping
In my life I have dealt with conflict, criticism and discouragement in a very similar way. It usually came on the football field and I would think about the criticism, put it into my brain, try really hard to be better at it in the future and then get onto the field and take out all my anger and frustration by pounding (or trying to pound) the man across from me. The awesome thing about being a fullback is that you are essentially a human battering ram and get that opportunity on nearly every play.
Life’s really different now and I still face criticism, discouragement and conflict, yet I have to deal with it in a different way; and I don’t think I like it. Something about me needs a physical release. It’s not like I desire to physically harm the source of these things, but for me football was a healthy way to clear that aggression slate; I would just go out and do my job, hit the other guy in the face and don’t stop until he is on the ground on his back. There aren’t too many opportunities for this when you work at a church, although sometimes I laugh when I think about what that would look like (picture uncoordinated people in robes, stoles and football pads going at it like those tackling drills you see in bad football movies).
So I write. I write to get these things out of my head they can wreak havoc on my sanity, feelings and relationships. I write so that I can slow my thoughts and remove the mental white noise that comes with stress. I write to remember where I have been and to see where I am going. I write because I claim to enjoy it and so I figure I aught to give it a shot every once in a while.
I read other people’s writing and feel a soul-wrenching connection to their situations, grief, joy, wanderlust, and triumphs. I desire to make that happen for myself, but it seams like I’m trying to recall a dream. I never quite get it right and it sort-of feels like I’m talking about someone else. I read Donald Miller and Joan Didion and wonder how someone I have never met can speak to me in a way that strikes the foundations of who I am. I wonder if I can practice enough, and read enough of their works and become inspired and skilled and make my heart come alive off of ink and paper. Maybe someday that will happen, it’s ok if it doesn’t. Because ultimately I write for myself and for God; and while I may never be satisfied with what ends up on the page, the process heals my heart and makes me love God more. And if all else fails, I could always buy a tackling dummy and just go to town, practicing those old days of football, sweat, determination and simplicity, understanding a little more of what it means to grow up.
Life’s really different now and I still face criticism, discouragement and conflict, yet I have to deal with it in a different way; and I don’t think I like it. Something about me needs a physical release. It’s not like I desire to physically harm the source of these things, but for me football was a healthy way to clear that aggression slate; I would just go out and do my job, hit the other guy in the face and don’t stop until he is on the ground on his back. There aren’t too many opportunities for this when you work at a church, although sometimes I laugh when I think about what that would look like (picture uncoordinated people in robes, stoles and football pads going at it like those tackling drills you see in bad football movies).
So I write. I write to get these things out of my head they can wreak havoc on my sanity, feelings and relationships. I write so that I can slow my thoughts and remove the mental white noise that comes with stress. I write to remember where I have been and to see where I am going. I write because I claim to enjoy it and so I figure I aught to give it a shot every once in a while.
I read other people’s writing and feel a soul-wrenching connection to their situations, grief, joy, wanderlust, and triumphs. I desire to make that happen for myself, but it seams like I’m trying to recall a dream. I never quite get it right and it sort-of feels like I’m talking about someone else. I read Donald Miller and Joan Didion and wonder how someone I have never met can speak to me in a way that strikes the foundations of who I am. I wonder if I can practice enough, and read enough of their works and become inspired and skilled and make my heart come alive off of ink and paper. Maybe someday that will happen, it’s ok if it doesn’t. Because ultimately I write for myself and for God; and while I may never be satisfied with what ends up on the page, the process heals my heart and makes me love God more. And if all else fails, I could always buy a tackling dummy and just go to town, practicing those old days of football, sweat, determination and simplicity, understanding a little more of what it means to grow up.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Sleep
Last weekend was pretty crazy. Thursday we worked hard to complete our week's tasks so that we could have Friday off and pick up Annie's folks from the airport. We worked late Thursday and I had worship practice that night so I pretty much collapsed after that. Friday came and I got some me time body-surfing in the morning but the day crept up as we were left to pick up here folks and got a text saying they just landed. Trade winds brought them a whole hour early and so what was a planned early pick-up became a curbside pick up. We spent the day running around the island running errands.
Saturday we worked very hard organizing and then running a car wash as a fund-raiser for our high-schoolers traveling to Forest Home winter camp in February. I was absolutely spent after, and just vegged the rest of the day. Sunday was another early morning as I woke up for worship practice and got after it right away. We finished the day by BBQ-ing with a whole lot of college kids.
Monday was my day off and I didn't set my alarm in hopes of sleeping in and just zonking. By 7:20 i was in the kitchen making coffee. What is going on here?! When did 7:20 become sleeping in?! I'm the guy who can go to bed at 10pm and wake up at 10am (no joke), or at least i used to be. Only time will tell if this trend lasts and I become an old working guy or stay a crazy college like sleep-a-holic.
The positive for me is that Monday morning we did the pillbox hike in Lanikai, and had a ridiculously good breakfast at Boots and Kimo's. After we got back to the cottage late morning I laid down on our bedroom floor. The next thing I knew I woke up at 1:30 pm just in time to shower for our trip to Hale'iwa (North Shore). We went in hopes of watching the reef Hawaiian Pro, but it was off due to stormy conditions. we then hoped to get some body-surfing in but that skunked us also. So we 'settled' for great Mexican food at Cholo's and delicious coffee at the Coffee Gallery.
Well, after this incredibly intelligent post, I will leave you to contemplate your own rest and sleep schedules. I love sleep and know that God blesses us with rest, both physically and spiritually. I get to have both during this Thanksgiving week. And for these things I am truly thankful
Saturday we worked very hard organizing and then running a car wash as a fund-raiser for our high-schoolers traveling to Forest Home winter camp in February. I was absolutely spent after, and just vegged the rest of the day. Sunday was another early morning as I woke up for worship practice and got after it right away. We finished the day by BBQ-ing with a whole lot of college kids.
Monday was my day off and I didn't set my alarm in hopes of sleeping in and just zonking. By 7:20 i was in the kitchen making coffee. What is going on here?! When did 7:20 become sleeping in?! I'm the guy who can go to bed at 10pm and wake up at 10am (no joke), or at least i used to be. Only time will tell if this trend lasts and I become an old working guy or stay a crazy college like sleep-a-holic.
The positive for me is that Monday morning we did the pillbox hike in Lanikai, and had a ridiculously good breakfast at Boots and Kimo's. After we got back to the cottage late morning I laid down on our bedroom floor. The next thing I knew I woke up at 1:30 pm just in time to shower for our trip to Hale'iwa (North Shore). We went in hopes of watching the reef Hawaiian Pro, but it was off due to stormy conditions. we then hoped to get some body-surfing in but that skunked us also. So we 'settled' for great Mexican food at Cholo's and delicious coffee at the Coffee Gallery.
Well, after this incredibly intelligent post, I will leave you to contemplate your own rest and sleep schedules. I love sleep and know that God blesses us with rest, both physically and spiritually. I get to have both during this Thanksgiving week. And for these things I am truly thankful
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