On Companionship

The Rev. George Hinman and his “10 Principles of a Christian Marriage” sparked this idea, as he gave this to my wife and I as part of our premarital counseling. George posits that we humans were created for companionships and that marriage, at its core, provides this. He grounds his argument in Genesis Chapter 2 and specifically cites verse 18 where the text relates God’s words, “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him, “ (NIV). Humans, creatures of the Sovereign and God Creator, were not created for solidarity, but rather, God intended that humans connect in relationships and fellowship. Continuing on, the text describes God creating “the beasts of the field and the birds of the air” and them being presented to Adam (the man) for naming and to try out for the role of Adam’s “helper suitable”. None were found suitable, and the text shows that to be man’s “helper suitable,” a creature must be of man, must be like and equal to the first father.
God, then, in His infinite wisdom and grace uses Adam himself to provide him his “helper suitable”:

Now bone of my bones
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called woman
For she was taken out of man Genesis 2:23

Adam declares God’s method and plan as he names this new creature, which God creates as a solution to verse 20’s problem. In verse 20, the text informs that the beasts were paraded before him, “But for Adam, no helper suitable was found,” (NIV). Eve; woman, therefore, is God’s “helper suitable” for man, and is so because she is of man, the same. Woman is created much like sourdough or friendship bread: actual parts of the first make the second batch, and baking them yields two loaves of bread. This is a narrow-minded analogy of how God creates humans and gender. Just as the two sourdough loaves will not taste and are not exactly the same, so woman and man differ slightly in form and function, yet both remain humans, just as both loaves remain ‘Butch’s Famous Sourdough’.
The term ‘helper suitable’ is curious and has caused many to misinterpret and underestimate God. The knee-jerk interpretation of ‘helper’ is someone to assist with any activities needing assistance who then yields to the assistee because they are somehow superior (experience, skill, intelligence, etc…). When examined in reality though, the definition and interpretation shift, as the previous definition is not the ideal. For a world-class tennis player, their ‘helper suitable’ is nor some tour rookie who mindlessly obeys their every command. For the powerful corporate CEO, their helper suitable is not some green temp, incapable of operating with them due to fear. Likewise for a contractor building homes, their ‘helper suitable’ is not the most obedient, albeit physically and mentally weak apprentice. No, in each scenario, the ‘helper suitable’ holds their own weight; it is the other world-class tennis player, the experienced, intuitive and capable personal assistant, and the equally experienced, witted and strong journeyman themselves.
To best assist, a pair must be equally skilled and must intimately know their partner. The time and history spent together create a fluid and efficient relationship. At times the two’s separation blurs to the point of indistinction. This is how God created women, not as an inferior and secondary drone or servant, but as a capable and gifted other, different loaves of the same starter batch. God’s plan for creation is companionship, not with lesser brutes (animals), but instead with exciting, intelligent equals. Likewise, his plan for marriage is not men lording their priority (in the sense of being first) over women, but in relishing their self’s completion in another, as “two become one” and together work equally at the tasks set before by God himself (Genesis 2:15, 1:28).
Humanity’s dawn, therefore, demonstrates God’s plan and ideal: companionship, marriage and equality. To man was given dominion over “the fish of the sea, and the birds of the air, and over every living creature that moves on the ground,” (Genesis 1:26). Implicitly excluded from this list of dominion is woman, bone of bone and flesh of flesh; God’s own image and man’s own equal companion. God commands them both together in verse 28 and it is equally the charge and duty of both. Woman then is man’s ‘helper suitable,’ his crafted and called equal, simultaneously his intended assistant and completion.

Big

I'm a pretty big guy, but I usually forget since my time spent in football surrounded me with people who dwarfed me. I don't think of myself as exceptionally tall (i'm six foot two) nor do i think Im huge, because I used to be a lot more muscular. Well, my average weight for the last year or so has been around 250 lbs. Granted, that's alot, but in my mind its only middle of the road, not 300lbs (many lineman weigh over 300) or even 275lbs (many defensive lineman weigh around this). Anyway, since winter quarter of school last year, I have had little opportunity to work out at all, be it cardio or strength training, so I've got a pretty clear idea in my mind that I'm VERY out of shape. However, since about wedding time, my caloric intake has apparently increased dramatically and I found myself stepping on the scale and eventually seeing a blinking 277.3 before my eyes. Needless to say I was shocked and almost mortified at what I have become. Well, my poor wife, bless her heart, has been gently and lovingly encouraging me to work out a little more and maybe eat a little healthier. I quickly defend myself, telling her about my recent growth spurt which added a half inch in height, and atleast two inches in girth to my frame. The problem, however, is that the added couple inches to my frame do not account for the many added inches around my belly button. So my wife wanted to show me how my face serves as an indicator of my growth and showed me side by side pictures of me in the same shirt taken a little more than a year apart and boy, is there a difference. You might as well call me Fatty McButterpants. Well, I knew when I looked at the numbers on the scale, that I am currently HUGE, however, when I saw the pictures of me it definately reinforced this conclusion and has left me in a very precarious situation in the midst of the holiday eating bonanza that accompanies the season. Well, in January we move to Kailua, Hawai'i and we will live next-door to the YMCA and I will have a more stable life to add a fitness schedule to. Lets just hope that before then, I don't break the three bills mark. Good luck with your own holiday fitness attempts.

PS last night we watched a sindicated episode of King of Queens, and Carey, the wife bought a new shirt for her husband Doug (played by Kevin James, who is very round) and he finds out from the bag that she bought the shirt from the Big and Tall store. He goes crazy about this because he says that he sure isnt tall (five-nine) so he must be BIG. Anyhoo, there is a point in the episode where he relates a situation at the bank when someone called him Fatty McButterpants. Cary responds, "So ya didn't think you were fat when someone calls you Fatty McButterpants, but ya do when I buy ya clothes from the Big and Tall store?!?!?!" . My wife said something similar when I freaked out about my picture, but it didn't seem to freak me out when I saw the scale. anyway, maybe you had to be there.

Only In Love (and a whole lot of Grace)
~JD

Transience

My current world is transient. Annie and I both work temporary jobs, she works at her dad's office filling in for the biller on maternity leave, and I work random day jobs throughout the Bakersfield area. My favorite job is up on a ranch in the mountains east of town, where every day is beautiful. Working at the ranch somehow reminds me of God's goodness, immensity, and creativity. One need only spend a little time in the midst of creation to notice His plan working together. Plant, animal and terrain all fit together so masterfully that it can not be denied. Walking the fence gives me plenty of time to think about my life and my spiritual walk and it reminds me how my walk itself is often transient. I never remain in the same state as I seek God. Sometimes that is good, like when I do a bad job following Him and loving Him and loving others, but it also ends up frustrating me, like when I start something good and then nearly immediately stop doing it. I mostly frustrate myself because I rarely get to a point where I constantly continue to move forward.

My ideal image of my Walk is a mountain summit trip. I begin down in the flats walking through a green meadow and slowly and progressively hike to the top (which is the end goal, Christ in Heaven). Throughout the hike I pass through some easy parts and some parts so diffcult they are nearly impossible, but i always picture myself moving closer to my goal. Real life, however, is filled with all sorts of backslides and struggles and there are often times when I can say that I don't ove closer to my eventual goal. I guess I spend my life trying to get my life not moving backward, when I should just focus on getting to the goal. Maybe the reason why my Walk struggles is because I focus on removing the struggles rather than the goal of being closer to Jesus and being more like Him as I interact with others.

So transience is my current life. Job, living situation, even our hearts really aren't able to settle in as we expect a move and radical life change into our lives in ministry. We pray that God would be with us as we face so many changes and that He would keep us in His will. We pray that we could stop focusing on things beside Him, and that we would be refreshed in our disciplines.