Friday, December 29, 2006

On Companionship

The Rev. George Hinman and his “10 Principles of a Christian Marriage” sparked this idea, as he gave this to my wife and I as part of our premarital counseling. George posits that we humans were created for companionships and that marriage, at its core, provides this. He grounds his argument in Genesis Chapter 2 and specifically cites verse 18 where the text relates God’s words, “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him, “ (NIV). Humans, creatures of the Sovereign and God Creator, were not created for solidarity, but rather, God intended that humans connect in relationships and fellowship. Continuing on, the text describes God creating “the beasts of the field and the birds of the air” and them being presented to Adam (the man) for naming and to try out for the role of Adam’s “helper suitable”. None were found suitable, and the text shows that to be man’s “helper suitable,” a creature must be of man, must be like and equal to the first father.
God, then, in His infinite wisdom and grace uses Adam himself to provide him his “helper suitable”:
Now bone of my bones
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called woman
For she was taken out of man Genesis 2:23
Adam declares God’s method and plan as he names this new creature, which God creates as a solution to verse 20’s problem. In verse 20, the text informs that the beasts were paraded before him, “But for Adam, no helper suitable was found,” (NIV). Eve; woman, therefore, is God’s “helper suitable” for man, and is so because she is of man, the same. Woman is created much like sourdough or friendship bread: actual parts of the first make the second batch, and baking them yields two loaves of bread. This is a narrow-minded analogy of how God creates humans and gender. Just as the two sourdough loaves will not taste and are not exactly the same, so woman and man differ slightly in form and function, yet both remain humans, just as both loaves remain ‘Butch’s Famous Sourdough’.
The term ‘helper suitable’ is curious and has caused many to misinterpret and underestimate God. The knee-jerk interpretation of ‘helper’ is someone to assist with any activities needing assistance who then yields to the assistee because they are somehow superior (experience, skill, intelligence, etc…). When examined in reality though, the definition and interpretation shift, as the previous definition is not the ideal. For a world-class tennis player, their ‘helper suitable’ is nor some tour rookie who mindlessly obeys their every command. For the powerful corporate CEO, their helper suitable is not some green temp, incapable of operating with them due to fear. Likewise for a contractor building homes, their ‘helper suitable’ is not the most obedient, albeit physically and mentally weak apprentice. No, in each scenario, the ‘helper suitable’ holds their own weight; it is the other world-class tennis player, the experienced, intuitive and capable personal assistant, and the equally experienced, witted and strong journeyman themselves.
To best assist, a pair must be equally skilled and must intimately know their partner. The time and history spent together create a fluid and efficient relationship. At times the two’s separation blurs to the point of indistinction. This is how God created women, not as an inferior and secondary drone or servant, but as a capable and gifted other, different loaves of the same starter batch. God’s plan for creation is companionship, not with lesser brutes (animals), but instead with exciting, intelligent equals. Likewise, his plan for marriage is not men lording their priority (in the sense of being first) over women, but in relishing their self’s completion in another, as “two become one” and together work equally at the tasks set before by God himself (Genesis 2:15, 1:28).
Humanity’s dawn, therefore, demonstrates God’s plan and ideal: companionship, marriage and equality. To man was given dominion over “the fish of the sea, and the birds of the air, and over every living creature that moves on the ground,” (Genesis 1:26). Implicitly excluded from this list of dominion is woman, bone of bone and flesh of flesh; God’s own image and man’s own equal companion. God commands them both together in verse 28 and it is equally the charge and duty of both. Woman then is man’s ‘helper suitable,’ his crafted and called equal, simultaneously his intended assistant and completion.

2 comments:

kylemowery said...

Good insight on a difficult topic - the erroneous ways "suitable helper" have been misconstrued or abused makes our understanding and application of God's concept difficult. Our generation can war against that as we both learn how to have rich vibrant marriages and uplifting, equally yoked relationships. Word!!!

Anonymous said...

My Son-in-Law wrote this!