Update

hey any that still check this blog. I have made a full switch over to wordpress and want to again direct any readers to my blog their as I'm pretty active with it. I try to update atleast once a week and some weeks do way more (like this week I'm rolling on multiple posts a day). I apologize if you still chack this as your blog but again, im over at wordpress

Apologies

Something has recently come to my attention and I just thought I would make a blanket apology about my writing. If you read my blogs, it may seem that I don't proof-read (this is 100% true) and that sometimes my poor grammar and sentence structure can be distracting form the point I'm trying to express. It is true, my blogging is more like a conversation and so I don't put the effort I should into making sure I don't look like a dumb kid who hasn't taken a grammar class in his life, when in actuality, I majored in English at a place where it is darn tough to do that. Anyway, consider this my apology about that and consider it my personal commitment to do a better job at writing clean, more polished blogs that should be easier to read.

BTW; Check out my wordpress, it's where I'm shifting my blogging focus to, and am working to make it nicer.

Dan Ko

I go to the local High School for a lunch-time bible club. The club is jointly put on by three of us youth minister guys, one from youth for Christ, one from a four-square church in Kailua, and me, and sometimes our intern Kenji. Today was the last club if the year and the three of us each took about ten minutes to share with these teens.

I shared about how ridiculous and absurd Jesus’ birth is and how crazy it is that this is how God chose to enter out world and save it. The my friend Dan, the YFC guy gets up and shares a couple stories. I love Dan and feel like he has such a heart for lost teens and wants to do anything to reach them. But one of my favorite things about Dan is his honesty. He shares real struggles he has that most Christians don’t want to share for fear of looking like a bad Christian heathen or something.

Well, toward the end of his time Dan tells the kids, “I have a confession to make to you guys. I can no longer call myself a Christian,”. At this point everyone, myself included, stops dead in their tracks as we wait for Dan to go on. And he did. He went on to explain that he still believes everything that a Christian believes and that he is still trying to live the life Christ calls him to in scripture.

The reason, Dan said, that he doesn’t feel comfortable calling himself a Christian anymore is because he feels like his life doesn’t reflect what Christ calls us to. He said, “I don’t take care of the poor, naked and hungry, I don’t spend time with widows or prisoners. I don’t feel like I love my neighbor as myself, and until I feel like I do that, I don’t feel like I can call myself a Christian,”

Dan doesn’t question his salvation at all, he knows he is saved by grace and faith in Christ. But Dan seriously questions what we allow to pass for Christianity. The modern, western Christian Church is probably so far from the things that Christ called us to, that he would have trouble recognizing us as his followers. So Dan is taking a step, and he is starting with himself. We had lunch afterward and he shared more of his heart on it, but he doesn’t doubt who he is in Christ or is even discrediting Christianity. He infact is elevating Christianity by reminding himself and the rest of us the high calling we have accepted.

Christ’s way changes lives. He calls us to love God with everything we are and have, and to love our neighbors like we would want to be loved. Those are two high callings. Jesus told his disciples that they will be known by their love. If you are a Christian and are reading this, you should be seriously examining your life right now, because truthfully, I don’t measure up. I don’t need to measure up because Christi does that for me but honestly, I don’t think people know me by my love. But I want to change that. I have seen a God who is all about mercy, love, peace, and kindness and I love that. I am making steps so that my life better reflects he who took the fall for me, and who changed the world with Love.

Dan closed with this Mother Teresa quote that has been a bit of a mantra to me these last few weeks, “We can do no great things; only small things with great love”. I hope to.

Rich

Well, I have been thinking about some things lately and I also have been pretty busy and so have been pretty MIA from the site, I apologize, and here ya go.

I have been reading a couple of Shane Claiborne's books lately and my world is being rocked. I feel like I'm being encouraged to go deeper and further in my Christianity and also feel like he pretty clearly articulates some things I have been thinking and wrestling with for a while. He talks alot about our wealth as Americans and the hindrance that is to entering The Kingdom of God, and I am being rocked. He mentions the passage in James Chapeter 5 where James warns

1Now listen, you rich people, weep and wail because of the misery that is coming upon you. 2Your wealth has rotted, and moths have eaten your clothes. 3Your gold and silver are corroded. Their corrosion will testify against you and eat your flesh like fire. You have hoarded wealth in the last days. 4Look! The wages you failed to pay the workmen who mowed your fields are crying out against you. The cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord Almighty. 5You have lived on earth in luxury and self-indulgence. You have fattened yourselves in the day of slaughter. 6You have condemned and murdered innocent men, who were not opposing you.

Shane uses this passage to springboard to different issues where this applies to us, rich western consumers. He talks about how Christians should be against buying and wearing clothes made in sweatshops, especially where children are involved (and specifically mentions Nike and other brands ). I was cut to the core to realize my vanity desires these companies' products even though they sin against God by desecrating people. God created people as sacred, reflections of Godself and holy; literally images of The Creator. I thought of how my purchasing cheap products feeds the greedy cycle that sucks these impoverished in.

He also mentions the tomato pickers who are unfairly paid for their work. This is specifically and literally what James is talking about! I think about my time at UCLA when Taco Bell was kicked off campus because they are part of the people who pay these tomato pickers so poorly. I remember the big debates it caused and how we as rich, spoiled students were upset to lose our Taco Bell. I think of how ridiculous our response was and I pray that my sins in these ares may be forgiven.

Anyway, I am scared. I don't know that I am weeping and wailing but I am scared to my core. No matter how good we think we are, when we contribute to these companies that are everywhere, we are going against God's design and plan. We sin for a 99 cent taco, or an 8 dollar t-shirt. We desecrate humans so that we may be in style or have cheap, tasty food. The wages we fail to pay these workers are crying out against us and I am terrified. I pray that God would have mercy on me for my greed and I pray that God would give me wisdom to change, and strength to fight against the global, consumer empire that I live in.

Upgrade

So I am in the process of making wordpress my blog home. I plan to continue posting here on blogger, but it seems like I need to step up my blogging and part of that includes moving to a template I have some more control over. you can redirect to the site by clicking the title or by clicking here. A word of caution: the site is still under construction so where your hardhats (all two of you).

My Crazy Friday

Today was quite a Friday. I was sick for a while last week and, of course, ended up getting Annie sick. This last year and a half of living in Hawaii has been ridiculous for me in terms of my health. I would confidently say that I have been sick more in this year and a half of living in Hawaii, than in the previous eight years living in California and Oregon, maybe even my entire life otherwise.
Part of the reason for Hawaii’s intense cold “season” is that being a worldwide travel destination; we get people and diseases from all over the world. We get the cold season when it hits the mainland, Europe, Japan, the Southern Hemisphere, you name it, everywhere there are colds going around, visitors come here form there. So it is pretty much cold season year round here in the Aloha state.
Back to this Friday, Annie has been sick for the last couple days and was again sick today. I know this because I woke up early in the morning to her hacking up a lung next to me in bed. Please understand I love my wife so much and cannot imaging the stress of being pregnant, let alone being pregnant with a cold. But the fact is, usually I am grumpy when I miss out on sleep, so the only things I can think this morning are, “really, is she couching this much and shaking the bed? I mean there aren’t more than thirty seconds in between coughs! How long can this go on?”
So again, I love my wife and can’t imagine what she’s going through, and also I am pretty much a jerk for thinking these things but this is the story. Anyway, I finally realize that I’m being a jerk and it would be best for me to go sleep on the couch, rather than stew in bed and be bitter at my pour, ill wife. So I head to the couch with my pillows and cell phone (it’s my alarm) and reset the alarm for a little later than normal.
Well, apparently I did a poor job of setting the alarm because I woke up at ten-thirty in the morning because it was getting hot. So I went into the room and woke up my sweet sick wife and we spent the morning watching some friends and eating breakfast, since the morning was shot. Went to work at noon and spent the afternoon getting my youth ministry on. I am super blessed by my work situation, and those around me. So, that was my Crazy Friday morning. Thankfully when I told my boss, he just laughed and remarked about how I should be rested then.

Body-Surfing and God

I was hanging out with a UCLA friend, Ryan Frontiera the other day (he recently moved out here from So-Cal)and we were talking about bodysurfing. We are trying to get together to do some bodysurfing and were talking about bodysurfing as the purest form of wave-riding and experiencing the ocean's power.

When you think about it, all you really need to body surf is yourself and some waves. now there are the optional things, like fins, which I use, or a wet-suit maybe if the water is colder, but when you boil it down, all someone needs to surf is their body and a break. Anyway we were talking about the irreplaceable feeling of being fully in the water (up to your head) and how you get a feel for the ocean and its size by that, and then we talked about how when you ride a wave, you personally feel the power that wave releases with your body; power that has built and traveled miles upon miles to reach that point.

It's also interesting to think about how exposed bodysurfing leaves you. I experienced this recently, as when a monster set comes in, you can do nothing but dive under the wave and hope you get deep enough or hope the wave isn't too powerful that it will get to you anyway. Anyway, bodysurfing can provide a surreal experience, one where the participant excitedly rides, but honestly can (and should) fear the ocean. I can bodysurf pretty well, and usually don't get freaked out by too much anymore, but one trip to the pumping North Shore, or for me these last couple weeks at Sandy Beach where I swear, the faces were mountains of water. Well all that got me thinking about God, partly because the power the ocean unleashes is like a movie preview of God's own power ( I mean not only did God create these oceans and the ability for waves to form, travel and break, but the prophet Isaiah [40;11--13] tells us that God measures all the waters in the hollow of his hand), but also because because all over the bible, fearing God is described as a good, honorable, right and holy thing. It seems that often when the bible mentions people fearing God, its almost as if it is a blessing to them.

Well, our contemporary Christianity tries to neuter our God by making God's defining attribute love. Now the interesting thing is that the bible gives us a much larger and complicated (read, really really hard to comprehend) picture of God. So for so long I wrestled with this idea of fearing God, but also understanding that God is love and that every good and perfect gift comes from God (James 1:17). So there is mentally this disconnect and whenever I heard people talk about fearing God, they would say things like, "well, you shouldn't really fear God, it means more to be in awe" or other things like that. The problem is, however, that the bible continues to talk about fearing God as a good and wise thing.

I think that picture really locks in for me when I think about the ocean and bodysurfing. I mentioned earlier that I'm pretty proficient in the water, and I am, but that doesn't change the fact that at any moment, on any wave or diving under any wave, I could break my neck or even be killed. I know that's kindof heavy and maybe you feel it's in poor taste (as my wife, mother, and mother-in-law might wonder) but the honest truth is that there is a possibility of the ocean totally messing me up every time I go out.

Now, that said, I don't spend my time in the water paralyzed by fear but if the ocean's power isn't somewhere in people's minds when they are in the water, then they are brave or foolish. There is a part in CS Lewis' The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe where the Pevensie's, the series' main characters are about to meet Aslan, the king. They don't know that Aslan is a lion and they ask their beaver friends if he is "quite safe". The beavers respond somewhere to the likes of, "aren't you listening?!?! He is a lion! Who said anything about safe? Of course he isn't safe. But he is good, and he's the king."

These two things, the Narnia passage and my time bodysurfing when the waves were large, have helped me see a little better this picture of a God who is absolutely good and loving and holy, but is also dripping with pure raw power. Our God is not safe and (to paraphrase the beavers) anyone who can stand before without their knees knockin' is either braver than most or downright foolish. God is definitely good and I see markings of that all over my life, and I am thankful that God is also not safe. It seems like the lives God desires for us always are more joyful, contented and blessed when they aren't safe. Here's to trying to live that out and make it a little more real in my life!


PS: the pics are from a pretty small day on the North Shore, only about 3-4 feet (Hawaiian measure, from the back), or 6-8 foot faces. It gets anywhere from 20- 35 feet from the back over at Wameia Bay

My New 'Do

So here it is, I have embraced the mohawk, and I love it. I was trying to convince Annie for over a month to let me have it and I finally got her to the point where she said I can have it, but not when we visit the doctor. I therefore had a small, two week window and Friday night with the help of her very own brother Pat, I seized that window. Suffice it to say the cut was everything I envisioned and more, and after waking up the next morning Annie said she liked it so much I could keep it (she said she wouldn't even mind me having it when I am a daddy!)

Shortly after waking on Saturday, we went for a little coffee date to Starbucks and while we were there one of our pastors, Darryl, saw us. He came fresh from their morning elder meeting and was there with two elders. He is a great guy and came up to me and said that he was just thinking how many weirdos there always are at Starbucks and then he saw me. I enthusiastically jumped in here and said, "and then you realized that there are weirdos right in your office!". We all laughed about it and went about our merry way.

So I sported it with pride today at Church and most of the teens loved it (though one glanced at me with a look of shocked disgust, and that amuses me) and the parents thought it was funny for the most part, but the best response was from our lead Pastor, Brad, who just laughed and told Annie and I that he liked it. Anyway, I figured I wanted a mohawk and there are few places where you can get away with having one, and being a youth minister is one of those, so here it is for a little while. Me and Taylor Knox, adults who rock mohawks.

Sorry

For all three of my faithful readers I must apologize for my lack of posting this past week. I have been busy and just havent been able to. but to cheer up all you lads and lasses, i give you a little youtube love. this is the Flight of the Conchords and they rock, this post is in honor of their album release on Tuesday

18 month

So, Monday was Annie's and My year-and-a-half anniversary! Now I know what you're thinking, JD, are you a highschool sophomore or something? Who celebrates anniversaries other than yearly once they're married? Well, I do. Now don't get me wrong, we didn't do presents or go crazy, but it was a great chance to just spend the night together and eat at a nice little trattoria in our town, Zia's. It was awesome, the cafe is all outdoor seating and the night was perfect and the food was delicious. We also started the day by enjoying some pancakes with strawberries and whipped-cream (of course, I got some flowers for the wonderful wife).

All this is because I am absolutely in love with my wife and I love our married life. I also will say that my absolute favorite time of my life has been these last 18 months (and while we were dating, but the marriage has been even better) and I love that I get to spend the rest of my life with my best friend, the love of my life, and the person, who sees the world most similar to me. I love it, and You, Annie

My Salty Weekend

This weekend was a tough one for me. It was one of those where I remember how bitter and angry and chump-like I can be. From our dog being a butt, to our car giving me crap for changing the oil, to me being bitter towards my wife for no good reason, it was a weekend full of bitterness for me (out here in the aloha state, we say someone is salty, not bitter). I think God really wants to show me some junk in my heart and my life and part of it took all that coming to the surface this weekend.

Anyway, needless to say, I tried spending alot of time in the water and trying to get my heart right (it's funny how you can't necessarily will that to happen). But on Sunday it was great because I triumphed over my car and got everything running well, and was met here at the church by one of our Jr high leaders and parents (and just an awesome guy) and we went out to the Sandy beach and met another guy there and did some bodysurfing. The next day I ran into the parent/leader at sandy beach again and we talked about how we both experienced a salty weekend and how we really used Sunday's session to clear our heads, start fresh and feel better. It was encouraging. In fact, as I look at it now, the whole weekend was encouraging because even though I was an absolute butt, God surrounded me with gracious people and opportunities and kept me sane and reminded me who is in control (it's God by the way, not me)

A side note, on Friday, I went out to Sany beach for some late morning Bodysurfing and showed up and it was HUGE, I'm talking the biggest I have ever been in the water for. These big ones that were breaking outside had about 15 foot faces and the ones inside were atleast 12 foot faces (double-overhead) and barelling so big and fast you could fit a car in there. And to top all this awesomeness off, it was sooooooo clean and rideable and fast. I wish there were pictures of it I could direct you to on the web, but I have not yet found any. Anyway, God really blessed me with that experience (yes, I pulled the "G-Card") because I guess only two hours before I got there, my friend said it was so unrideable, he didn't even get in (and this friend is crazy and will try to ride anything), and then the leader/parent went by later that afternoon and said it was still clean, but significantly smaller, so yea, I was blessed to have such awesome conditions and rides. well, that's all for this random post.

Dad

Today is my dad's birthday and I am going to follow Annie's lead by posting about my dad on his birthday. These last seven or so months, I cant help but look back on my own childhood and think about your fathering to us. I realize now how expensive just living can be and I think of how you amazingly took care of all five of us. I also think about how you were present for so much of my life; I remember you enthusiastically attending wrestling meets, choir festivals, and of course football games. I don't think I have told you but it meant alot to me that you would get so excited about the activities we kids would do.

I was also thinking of a memory of how, in middle school, when I was into snowboarding, you would take me up to the mountain a few times a year and you would ski while my friends and I snowboarded. I seem to remember you tearing up the terrain park with us and I think that is pretty awesome.

But what I have been most thinking about lately is how it's going to be tough to be a dad. I think of the sacrifices you made for your kids and am impressed and challenged by the example you set. I think about late nights with us and early mornings to be at work and am blown away. But I think, what I am most proud of you about and blown away about is that you quietly raised a family after God. I think of the three of us older kids, and the fact that studies (and my experience) show that 80% of Christians leave their faith after high school and it seems like the three of us have had our faith deepened by college and its challenges. Even as I write this I am blown away that you have kept this family so directed towards God, so thank you. Dad, you are a great dad and I certainly don't tell you enough. Thanks for all you are and for al you have done

HIM Conference, Part 4; Compassion Intl, Bart Campolo

So in this post I hope to hit two topics that happened during the same session, specifically one of the youth general sessions that I attended (with our teens, but funny, it didn't seem like there were many youth leaders with their students, I wonder why). During this session, we heard from Bart Campolo, Tony's son, who does much in the world of Christianity, but gave us a great sermon on friendship. The other part was before all that, a girl spoke for Compassion International; I will start with the Compassion story.

We totally didn't know this speaker was coming and I must admit up front that what I can write will not even come near capturing the gravity of the event. I continually go over the situation in my head and heart but I cannot put it into words. There comes a point when language fails and you cannot describe heart movements and aching. Anyway, that is my confession/preface.

So this young girl (actually about our age) comes up to the stage in the midst of a worship set and begins speaking about compassion intl. She begins to tell the story of poverty and brokenness her family experienced. She talks about the irresistible gravity of drugs and alcohol in the impoverished portion of the Philippines where she grew up. She talks about how great unemployment was and how she lived in a house with 17 of her relatives. She told of her father falling into world of drugs and how it tore the house she lived in apart. She talked about her father leaving due to the drugs and the pain that that caused. She then gave a glimpse into the extent of their poverty when she recalled a time when her, her mother and two brothers shared a cup of noodles as their only food for that day.

Then She talked about Compassion. She talked about being physically supported with food and health care. She talked about being educationally supported through the school that compassion worked with and sent her to. She talked about the knowledge of Christ that she received and how she was spiritually supported throughout. She also talked about her emotional support through correspondence with her sponsors. She talked about going to college because of compassion and graduating and earning a job in marketing with a Christian organization. And she spoke of the opposing cycle compassion creates; instead of a doomed cycle of poverty, she now supports and sponsors child herself, takes care of her family and has seen the reconciliation and healing of her father. And she told all this with a face so joyful and heartfelt you could not help but be floored by her heavenly peace, joy and hope.

My writing cannot convey the incredible mixture of heaviness and hope that was in that conference room that morning. I felt a divinely real mixture of a picture of real poverty, of real redemption and hope. It was as if the whole room's hearts were broken for this picture of poverty, but also rejoiced in the redeemed story we faced. It was flesh and bones, hair and a reality we had never experienced. It was a picture of God and how God reaches into the broken depths of our world to lift us out and bring us into the universe changing Kingdom of redemption. I felt like I had been hit in the chest with a sledgehammer. I felt like I understood a little better what I just finished reading in Rick McKinley's book, This Beautiful Mess; that God's redemptive Kingdom somehow doesn't fit the neat little flannel-board picture we create for it.

I cannot say anymore about this other than, if you have the opportunity to sponsor a compassion child, absolutely do; and if you have an opportunity to hear a compassion child share their story in person, also do that.

Now onto Bart Campolo. I have heard him speak before and am impressed by his honesty, transparency and the way he challenges those who hear him. This session did not disapoint. the title was "the art of friendship", but he began by sharing that he felt like his original talk was dumbed down for the HS-ers, so he said, as he was preparing that morning, he decided to take it another way and spent the next half hour admonishing these safe, sheltered teens to step out and be real friends to gay people. He clearly shared many times that his goal was not to change the listener's thoughts on whether it was right or wrong, but simply that Jesus calls us to love those in need, and he argued, there are few more in need of friendship than homosexuals in high school. I wont go into any specifics but will say that it challenged our kids and me personally. I want to do a good job of loving gay people as Jesus would, but after this talked I realized I'm not doing well at all. It was sobering and challenging, so all in all, a real kick-you-in-the-face session, and I am working to do a better job at both these subjects.
Only In Love

HIM Conference, Part 3; Tony Campolo

Another portion of the conference we went to was a lecture by Tony Campolo on the challenges of Marxism, Fruedianism, and Darwinism. We were pretty excited to hear this because we have seen him other places and read some of his stuff, but had never heard him in person. Well, Tony's lecture was great, he speaks without notes (he knows his stuff front and back) and is super personable and funny. While he was talking, he talked about Darwin and how terrible Darwin's second book is (it talks about eliminating humans based on disabilities), he also talked about Nietzsche and his form on atheism. Tony's basic premise about guys like Nietzsche is that atheists of our time want to take Christianity out of the equation, but still expect a basic Christian morality. They think everything is ok as long as everyone treats each other humanely. Tony posits that this is like weak atheism, he contended that guys like darwin and nietzsche were real atheists. These two guys took social darwinism to its extreme and were all for literally wiping out 'inferior' people. He contends that they didn't want God, so they threw out everything God stood for and encouraged taking darwinism to the extreme in the social and human aspect.

Well, to hear this is absolutely terrifying. I can't help but thank God for giving we humans innate general senses of right and wrong. Now I know post-modernism throws out all absolutes, but even modern atheists speak to what CS Lewis (in Mere Christianity) calls the Law of Nature. Even in our world of vagueness and fluidity, there still seems to be something deep in humanity's senses that speak to some moral standard, and that we often fail to live up to that.

So Tony went on and also talked about Marxism and Capitalism and Free-Market economy and all this stuff. I think the best thing I took away from this portion was the idea that "the Christian" should be a free-market economist rather than a socialist or communist or capitalist. His reasoning behind this was that "the Christian" in business should be out to make a profit, but the ends of that profit is to pour our blessings on others. His phrase was, "The Christian should be interested in Free-Market economy, because they should be making money to bless others. The difference comes in the motivation, The Christian is never motivated by profit, The Christian is motivated by love. Now you need to make a profit, or you wont be in business long and then you wont be blessing anyone. But the key is motivation, The Christian is motivated by love."

What I love so much about this is that last sentence, The Christian is motivated by love, not should be or will be or any other wishy-washy phrase. He says real Christians, those who follow Christ's teachings and life, are absolutely and solely motivated by love. I definitely get excited and fired up to here someone challenge those of us who call ourselves Christians in that way.

Well, Tony got sidetracked and didn't finish talking about the subject he was supposed to, because he went down an awesome path of liberation theology and how different people read the bible differently, and I will talk more about that in my next post, but the absolute best line of the night, that had the whole auditorium roaring in laugher was when he talked about his age. He said, "Now, I'm getting old. I'm 73 and I'm getting old. You know how to tell if you are old, when your wife tells you, 'let's go upstairs and have sex,' and you say great, but I can't do both. Well, we moved to a one-story house." and then he chuckled while the entire crowd (of mostly married and married aged people) laughed themselves silly. Indeed Tony, indeed.

HIM Conference, Part 2; Brewer

So, another bonus of the Conference was that Annie and I got to attend a lecture taught by our former pastor, Bel Air's Mark Brewer. His topic was one we weren't interested by simply reading the title, but it turns out that we loved the topic and discussion. The title was "the third intelligence" and referred to the idea of spiritual intelligence. His whole premise was that our society champions IQ, EQ (emotional intelligence), but we miss the part about being spiritually wise. He also made the point of differentiating between knowledge and wisdom; knowledge is knowing what something is, while wisdom is knowing how to apply that knowledge. He was basically trying to show how to make wise and Godly choices in our post-modern and uber-technological world. We deal with issues that people in the bible never dealt with and vice-versa.

How then, do we as Christians make God-honoring choices about things that the bible doesn't specifically mention. Things like who should we date/marry and what does that look like, should we pull the plug of a loved one on life support, what job to do, dealing with divorce, and the list goes on. It seems like many of these things aren't clear from simply scripture so what then. He mentioned that there are 4 sentinels (a sentinel was a guide who could show you the way, but couldn't make you do them) to spiritual intelligence. He lists these as 1. Scripture: The Living Word through the Written Word. 2. Reason: the difference between our intention and our motives. 3. Wise Counsel: from the Present and Past. 4. Inner Leading: spiritual "caller ID" whose voice is bringing this?

He brought up some great points on each of these, but some specific ones were: reason; God holds us accountable for our intentions more than our motives and can God possible give us freedom (free will) without freedom's consequences? Wise counsel: wise friends, they care about you more than the relationship; love is wishing someone's highest welfare; relationships themselves are spirit-filled, not merely the individuals; you need both truth and safety for relationships to go deeper. From the past: when we look to the wise thinkers who have gone before, we must really study them hard to understand there opinion and thoughts, we learn more this way. Spiritual caller id; 3 ways to recognize the voice you hear; 1. you spend time with them: you know God's voice better the more time you spend with God. 2 check the voice against the other 3 sentinels. 3. when it is from God, God blesses you with the fruit of the spirit; love, peace/tranquility, joy...

Anyway, those were some notes from his talk about the 4 sentinels that guide us to make spiritually wise choices in our lives. I must also say that the second topic he was going to talk about was, how to flesh out God's will in the really tough choices in life. And he had 10 specific instances like the ones mentioned above. I didn't get to attend this one because it ran concurrently with the Chris Tomlin Worship session that we went to with our teens.

However, I will say that this topic challenged me way more than I was expecting, not because I think I am super wise or anything, but because it really hit home hard. I will say, I am still fleshing this out in my life and hope to make it a lifelong and continual process. I will also leave you with what I thought was the quote of the day from Brewer;

"This Christian journey is not a march of legalism, it's a dance of grace." wow, how deeply profound and true.

HIM Conference, Part 1

Well, as promised, here are some of my thoughts and ponderings from the conference I recently attended. The first speaker I heard in a seminar was Phillip Yancey, and he was talking about Prayer (the topic of his most recent book). He talked about how he interviewed many people, and read many other people's books on prayer and came to the conclusion that people almost always are dissatisfied with their prayer life. He then talked about the bible's examples of prayers. He mentioned that there are about 650 prayers recorded in the bible and that about 1/3 of them are prayers of lamentation. He talked about lamentation and described as basically people complaining. His deal about this was that maybe God wants us to ritually lament (he said, " we say it's something that rhymes with the word 'itching'"). God cares about when we are distressed, sad, doubtful, or even angry. He also talked about how the process is healing for us as people to verbalize these things.

I am one of those dissatisfied with my prayer life. I wish I spent more time, as Yancey describes, communing with God, but I don't, and I get upset that I don't, but never upset enough to change it. I am however, encouraged by what Yancey taught; prayer is simple, spending time focused on God, inviting God to be a part of my day, and inviting (accepting God's invitation) myself into God 's workings for the day. I know I don't need to be a cloistered, saintly monk to spend my day communing with the Creator and King of everything, and sharing my life, joys, triumphs, fear and pain with the Saviour who redeems it all back.

Thoughts on Prayer? Are you satisfied? Why are most people dissatisfied? Any beneficial tips to make communing with God more of a reality?

Update: Our student intern Kenji Fukunaga posted his thoughts on this seminar on his blog

Conference Time

So we were at the Hawaiian Island Ministries Honolulu conference with some of our kids and we got an opportunity to hear from some awesome Christians share thoughts on all areas of faith. A cool thing is that we also get the opportunity to hear our former pastor, Mark Brewer from Bel Air Presbyterian. So we spent the early weekend hanging with teens, staying up late and wakin up early, rockin great worship and hearing some powerful words. The conference itself s a great idea, but its funny how easily these things get commercialized and Chritstianized. It was like they were patting themselves on the back a lot. We made it 25 years and look what we’ve done… Well, my cynicism aside, we had such a great time and were really challenged in our faith. My blogging goal is too provide some snapshots of my personal experiences with speakers, seminars, worship and even the stuff they peddle in the bookstore. Holla Atcha soon

Bruin-tastic, Baby-tastic

So I finally got to watch my first UCLA game of the 2008 tournament and I cant be more proud of my bruins than this. It was incredible to watch us really dominate a good Xavier team and play our way into the final four for the 3rd straight year. I feel like I finally understand how people from other schools feel during march and December and January for football. It's awesome to know that my school is playing well when it counts, and against some of the best people in the country.
Well, as for me gushing over these bruins like some uber-fan, I'm sorry, but that's what is exciting in my life now. To that you may say," uh, JD aren't you gonna become a father very soon?" and to that I say "heck yes!!!!". Today Annie and I went to Babies-r-us to get our awesome crib and maybe some other stuff. Well, our crib wasn't in stock, but we were able to buy a car seat, a play-yard, and the mattress for the crib. We feel responsible, like we are actually parents or something, and we have the number to get our crib when the shipment of six come in next week. We are so stoked that we are gonna be ready for htis kid a full two months early. Anyway, go bruins, go baby and word to your mom.

Mustache March Madness

So March is rolling and that means a couple things: first, that Mustache March is upon us (sport em with pride) and also that the NCAA tournament is in full swing. I have to say that these are some real good reasons to love this month, especially if your a UCLA Bruin who has fun with facial hair.

I know, I dont have tv or cable so I haven't kept up with the Bruins as well this year as the past, but you bet your sweet butt I keep up with them through the webernet. I am one proud UCLA fan and alum, so go bruins!!! take it all the way and keep doing what you do well.

I also wanted you all to know about how I have embraced Mustache March (see above photo). Todd Wyrick (my co-small group leader at Bel Air Pres Middle School discipleship) introduced me to mustache march (as well as Facial Hair February and manuary) and I've had a beard for the last couple weeks in anticipation of the coming mustachioed glories. So while our Friends RO and Mindy Smith were staying with us I got tired of my beard and went to shave it. I asked Annie if i should rock the stash and she didn't like the idea, but with great encouragement from RO, I decided to go for it and this is the result. I plan on keeping that beauty up through the end of the month. Props to Todd, keep it real man

Speaking of RO and MIndy, they stayed with us for a few days and it was soooooo awesome. We love these guys and continue to be blessed by the couple that sent us out into youth ministry and models a marriage and co-directorship for us as we move along in our ministry journey. We hung out with them at the beach, enjoyed Morning Brew, and vegged with a whole lot of Project Runway: season 2 (they brought it, not me. but i still enjoyed it though) Well guys, enjoy the rest of your time in Hawaii and the North Shore.

Peace out to yall. we are moving forward in babydom.
OIL

Police

I saw something the other day that made me think. We were in this roadside convenience store and deli and we were eating a delicious lunch that was more delicious than you would expect out of a neighborhood convenience market. Annie and I were enjoying our meal and noticing how busy the place was; people from all walks of life were grabbing lunch or a snack at this apparent local gem. We noticed a local police officer come in and grab a snack and step in line. This officer happened to line up after a mother and her five or six year old child. The child happened to have the same snack as the police officer and grew excited when he noticed. He began a conversation with the officer, asking all about “bad guys,” the officer’s uniform and equipment, and then proceeded to tell the man that he wanted to become a police officer so he could “shoot the bad guys,” or something to that effect.

Throughout this interaction I was touched and blessed by both the child’s excitement and reverence for the officer, and the officer’s reciprocated excitement and sweetness to the boy. The boy was clearly excited to see a “real-life” policeman in his full uniform with the gun and nightstick and everything. The officer was so great at explaining that he “doesn’t want to shoot the bad-guys,” but also accepting the child’s excited respect. Annie and I thought that most policemen probably really appreciate moments like these, in a world and occupation where they see some of the lowest lows. I also thought about how I have recently felt more respect and gratitude toward people like police, firefighters, military and other service-people.

Judging my personal experience with police officers and being pulled over, I have an incredible knack for drawing officers who either don’t like me or want to really show me a lesson because of my youth, or my size, or maybe because I feel it’s wrong to lie and say I wasn’t speeding when I knew I was. Whatever the reason, though, I have just had really bad experiences with officers being really rude and even mean to me. Now of course, these aren’t my only experiences with officers, I can remember working closing shifts at Starbucks, and in gratitude, frequently giving officers who stopped in free coffee (don’t tell Starbucks, it didn’t happen often, but you don’t want The Green Machine after you).

Anyway, this vignette reminded me of an innocence that our culture somehow loses. As kids, we all look up to cops with the highest respect, admiration and awe, but somewhere along the road, maybe through bad situations that leave us with a salty taste in our mouths, or maybe just out of unfounded prejudice, we begin to see police as “the man” or “the fuzz” or whatever other ridiculous image our culture concocts. I am ashamed to say that I have allowed my own perceptions of police and other service-people to be colored by these cultural inaccuracies. Sure there are the stories from the paper and the news about corrupt cops, but that’s simply because we live in a broken world and of course, even police can be consumed by that. I realized for me to color my perception of police on those bad stories is like people who draw their perception of Christians from the wackos on TV, radio, the news and everywhere else we see crazy “Christians”.

Well, I walked away from this lunch encounter with a little more tangible respect for our service people. I mean, I respected them before, but it grew a little deeper and more real. I am also more thankful for how much these men and women give; all the more because they do it to protect and serve an ungrateful and bitter culture which I am a part of. I hope I can continue to have more respect and gratitude towards these public servants, and I will sure try to show them more, maybe giving off a bit of child’s wonder.

I would appreciate any comments on the quality of my writing, including content, style and flow and all that stuff. so hit me up and let me know.

Rest

Well, it's vacation time for the Groves. We are resting as much as possible and loving it. Getting great time with family and will get some wonderful time just the two of us driving the whole California and Oregon coast. We love our time, and the wonderful weather, and our family. updates on the way

Winter Camp

So my last post referenced our youth group's trip to Winter Camp on the mainland. It mostly talked about my gastrointestinal problems, and I mentioned I would actually talk about the trip later so here we go. I honestly, was looking forward to the trip as a refreshing retreat. We had worked really hard to get there, and the last couple weeks especially were the big final push, so I was really looking for fun with our kids, and pure, wonderful, rustic relaxation. Thankfully, I really did get this, so I am blessed by that.

We (Annie and I) also felt like we grew into our new jobs so to speak. Being promoted in September brought some changes, but sometimes we had a hard time 'feeling' like we had the real ministry job and responsibility of it. This winter camp trip really marked a change for us in that. From airport transport, car rentals, to setting up tickets and rentals at the mountain, and leading the kids throughout the weekend, we really felt like we stepped into our roles as youth directors. We are really thankful about this weekend and how it worked out for us as youth leaders.

We are also thankful because we really noticed how young we are this weekend. Not only did Annie feel like she was constantly mistaken for a pregnant teen, we also noticed every other youth director was about 30-45. Anyway, we had a chance to talk with other youth leaders and really were able to appreciate our youth and inexperience. We don't have everything together and we know that, but this gave us the grounded reality that we are just plain young for what we do and have plenty of opportunity to grow and mature into it.

We were all blessed during this weekend with Forest Home's program. They gave our kids such a great and new experience in terms of worship and youth events. We hadn't a chance to experience the big, wild, crazy fun youth events with enthusiastic and experiential worship. There were about 600 students total and when you have that many kids, and you run a program well, you get a great experience and that's what we had.

The speakers were also awesome that weekend. We were blessed by hearing from Troy Murphy, Jeff Wagner, Chuck Hunt, and our very own Sean Palmer and these men challenged both us and our students to a deeper and more real relationship with Christ. They threw out a stat at the beginning of the weekend and the rest of the weekend's talks sort-of circled around that. Anyway, they related the stat that about 80% of high school Christians will leave their faith after they leave high school, and they then took it the step further to say, that if that is true, 80% of the students in attendance would leave faith after HS. Anyway, the weekend focused on the theme, "The Jesus that..." and the speakers went on to relate different aspects of the biblical Jesus. Anyway, I was challenged personally to know that we, as youth leaders, must try to connect these students with God in a way that leaves them changed and unable to deny or walk away from God.

I know that there really isn't anything I can do on my own to connect kids with God, so I see the challenge as "how can we set up situations where kids really meet with God?". Anyway, this is my ongoing challenge that was brought out by our winter camp weekend. Well that's all from me for now. PEACE!!!!!!

Readers Beware: Doody Alert!

Hey Readers! I've got the best update ever... if you are a guy who appreciates potty humor. If you are not into potty humor, stop reading. I mean it, stop reading or you may vomit all over your computer.

So, here's your chance...

Stop reading...

So after Tuesday's vomit fest, I felt a little better for youth group on Wednesday. I was feeling better on Thursday, Valentines Day, and I enjoyed a wonderful breakfast with Annie. We had already exchanged gifts for the most part, but I had given her an IOU for a pair of sunglasses (we tried to find some, but they weren't in stock). Anyway, Thursday went off great and we ate dinner at Saigon Noodle House, a great Vietnamese restaurant that is also cheap. We got home from Saigon Noodle and I had to take a deuce. So I sat down on the pot and experienced some explosive diarrheas. Annie was on the phone so she didn't know what was going on with me. I let her know I was having some squirts and that I hoped it would get better, since we were supposed to go to the airport in 2 hours and I hadn't packed for the trip yet. Well, it didn't stop.

I ended up pooping about 9 times in an hour and the last eight seemed to be pure liquid. it was like I was peeing out of my butt or something. At first I was concerned, even worried, but the it became pure comedy because well, it was a hilarious situation. Here I am about to take 11 high-schoolers to the mainland for a winter camp and I need to pack, need to leave in about an hour and a half, and I am absolutely pooping more than anyone has ever pooped before. I mean I am crapping my guts out and trapped on the pot. I was so trapped that I had to ask Annie to run to the Longs Drugs and buy me some Imodium. While she was out, I began to wonder what would happen if my crazy hershey squirts wouldn't stop. I couldn't stay home form the trip, and I might need some diapers or something. Annie was thinking the same thing apparently, and called me asking if I wanted some Depends. I said yes, and she proceeded to ask if I wanted the full diapers or just the liners. I thought liners would be better so I said that.


Fast forward... Annie comes home with the anti-diarrheal and the liners, which are not, in fact, Depends, but rather, they are Stayfree maxi pads. Apparently there was a miscommunication. So she packed up the maxi pads for me, and also packed some of our newly purchased baby wipes ('cause how would I clean up if I did mess the pads). I packed my bag, all except a towel and the Imodium AD worked. So we went off to the airport for our red-eye flight to LA and Forest Home, by way of Bear Mountain. Now the weekend rocked and I will share more about that later, but this post is strictly about doo-doo.

So for the weekend I am in charge (along with another guy leader) of a cabin of four of our high school boys. Anyone who has been around high school boys (or any male for that matter) knows that they love potty humor and farting and pooping. Well, this trip held true to that and by the time we left I'm sure they had to burn our room because we farted so much and had such stinky feet that our stink seeped into the walls of Cedar Inn, cabin H.

Well not only did I continue to have rank gas the whole weekend, which was probably only strengthened by the delicious camp food. But I also experienced aftershocks of Thursday and had more explosive diarrhea in public camp bathrooms because our personal cabin bathroom was clogged up (only one of those was my fault). The situation is this, I am leaving an awesome sermon and headed to our serious cabin discussion debrief and am experiencing ridiculously loud explosive diarrhea that our guys hear because they also used the bathroom. So I get back and enter the cabin to a chorus of laughter because they all heard bombs being dropped form my butt.

Anyway, this is the tip of the iceberg of "The Smelliest Weekend Ever". We laughed hard for most of the trip. One of our campers used the word "beef" more than anyone ever has (as in, "Oh, who beefed it?!?!?!), another camper referred to my farts as smelling like "rice bowl," (I don't exactly know what that means, although they also mentioned it smelling like teri beef) and so much more that has to do with smelly butts and feet. Huge props to Craig Metcalf, the adult leader in the room with us. He put up with more stink and giggling than any grown man ever has and was so great about the whole thing. Most mature adults would have been fully mortified by the display of stink, but Craig loved us through it all.

Well, more about the weekend to come, this one is strictly doody-rific.

Miscellaneous

Well, here we go...

Two weeks ago I got a head cold and got knocked on my butt a little, I then gave the cold to Annie, who got busted a lot longer than I, but also had some worse symptoms. Then tuesday morning I woke in the 5 o clock hour to some wicked gastrointestinal curiosities. I made a couple trips to the bathroom but nothing happened and I didn't feel better. Finally at about 6:30 I struck gold and tossed my cookies, big time. My uber-loud vomitting woke Annie up and she felt sorry for me. I then fell back asleep. Later in the afternoon I went for broke again and threw up the little water I had consumed that day. Needless to say, my day sucked. The next day was youth group and I am solely responsible for making the HS group happen, so of course I don't feel better. Thankfully I stopped throwing up, but didn't feel any better.

Made it through Wednesday, on to Thursday, Valentines day. Oh yea, tonight we fly on a red-eye to LA to take 11 HS-ers to winter camp. We will be driving right off the bat up to the mountains, snowboarding and then straight into an awesome, but energy filled winter camp. I am praying that I don't feel worse with the wear that my body is going to receive, but that's alot to fight against.

Also of note... Today marks the third valentines day in a row that Annie and I haven't been able to celebrate being a couple. Ever since we've been together we both had to work on Valentines day. Well, at least we work together every time....

Last, in honor of Facial-Hair-February, I am being very unshaven. Annie always tells me I look like a dirty, arab man; which is to say I look like an arab man who spent a week in the wilderness sans shower and shave, not that Annie thinks arab men are dirty, cause she doesn't. So here's a little photo-love in that. BTW, the above picture is me specifically pointing out my neck-beard.

Cannibal?

So I saw this on Mark Oestreicher's blog and thought it was funny, and my friends and I have joked about this a little bit so I figured i would take the quiz. I honestly expected the number to be lower, but its a little funny that it is this high. this is the same group of folks that recently came out and spent time with us here. I wonder if they will do that again after seeing this?

56%

You can click the badge to try it out for yourself, it's pretty funny. Well off to staff meeting I go...

Football Games

So Annie is an amazing wife. For my birthday or anniversary present and an early valentines day present she decided to start getting me copies of the games I played in at UCLA. We got the first shipment last and watched one of the games, Oregon State from my freshman year.

Part of the reason why this gift is so awesome is simply because these games aren't cheap. Somehow, they don't feel bad about charging 40 bucks a pop to burn a dvd of a game, but I guess I don't know about the copyright issues and all that so I' guess I can give them the benefit of the doubt.

Anyway, another reason is that when I quit football after my sophomore year, it was one of the hardest things I've done. One of the ways that I dealt with it was by basically blocking most UCLA football memories form my mind. I also made sure I was busy every Saturday of that following fall, but that's another story. Well, after I mentally and emotionally separated myself from all that stuff, I found there to be a pretty big blank in my mind when it come to football stuff. Now, Annie never got to see me play, atleast when she knew me (she went to one game I played in, but didn't know me), so she always asks me questions ab out my experience and asks about games and playing and stuff. It has been hard to answer her before simply because I blocked it out of my mind. Watching these movies is starting to bring those memories back, which is awesome, because there were many great things about playing fullback at UCLA, even when we weren't very good (hopefully with Chow and Neuheisel we will be awesome now!!!!!). Anyway, Thanks to Annie and the others in my life who are helping me remember, (Mom, and Dad, Momma B and Pop).

Well, I must go, the east shore is currently being slammed with a swell so I'm gonna go get a quick post-work surfing session in at Kailua beach.

Rowdy

This is Rowdy, our dog, and my first shot at i-movie. it is mostly just for fun

Scrubs again

I legitimately fear I might act like this. But I hope not too much



My wife wanted me to clarify that I don't endorse or think I will do the content, but rather that I will hold my child on my lap and ventriliquize him/her. Its just really funny to me because its childish guys with children, and the outcome is hilarious and naughty.

Refresh Continued

Well, I know it has been ridiculously long since I have last posted, which doesn't work the best with a to-be-continued but here we go. This is roughly what I want my life to be about in January 2009.

I want to have more disciplined time with God, I have time in the bible and in prayer, but it isn't what it could be, nor is it what I want it to be. I also want to be more patient; in light of my impending fatherhood, I know that my patience needs to increase, so I am working on it, and more importantly praying about it. In other personal areas I have realized that I'm pretty selfish when it comes to things around the home and such, so I am working on changing my attitude, my heart and mind, about that.

A big area that I am working on, which will affect everything else in my life, is that I am working on better time management skills. I don't really have much in the way of those right now, and I know that the things I want to do on a weekly basis, coupled with my added business from parenthood will most definitely need me to be better at this.

I hope to focus my time so that I can devote more time to interests like reading, writing, guitar playing and worship leading, and simply being with my wife. And on that note... I want to be better at making time for my wife as my wife, not as my co-director, not as my room-mate and house-mate, or the mother of my child, but as the woman I love and fell in love with.

I lastly want to make a commitment to writing. Specifically in this blog, and generally creating more content where I am engaging my struggles, questions, hopes, and triumphs as I go along with life. I have a goal to start being involved in writing specifically in the literary sphere by submitting articles to the Burnside Writers' Collective, a Portland based online magazine for Christians (probably classified as emergent). I am also trying to get my teeth into the publishing world by helping my friend and former High School football coach, Tom Smythe, by reading a manuscript of his (not like I'm the editor, just another set of eyes).

I realize these things are pretty ethereal and undefinable, but they are what God has placed on my heart as areas I need to work on, so, I'm doing that. Any other thoughts on things to work on in '08? Shout 'em out.
OIL

Refresh

The new year is always a great time for me. Beside the fact that it takes me longer to switch the date over when I sign on papers, checks and things that, the start of a new year gives me a chance to take stock of my life. There are the obvious vocational refreshers that happen at the new year; reviews, goals and reports, but I really enjoy seeing where I am and where I have b een and where I am going in my personal and spiritual life during this time. Our lives were created cyclically; we have a diurnal cycle (day and night), we have rough monthly lunar cycles, and we have yearly cycles, originally based upon our planet's rotation around the sun and including seasonal changes.

Call me pagan, but I love how before Pope Gregory, the New Year celebrations occurred in April, aligning with Spring's advent. This happened because everyone associated Spring with new beginnings and therefore the new year. This now happens for us in the dead (figuratively and literally) of winter. Even though our New Year's lacks the amazing visual metaphor of spring, it is great to look at our life and figure out the bad things that need to die, and the new good things that need to come alive.

Looking at my life over 2007 it literally has been a year of change for me. I moved to the Island of Oahu in Hawaii and started a new job as a Youth ministry intern working equally with my wife, with whom I shared an office and a two bedroom cottage. We went through the transitions of first-year marriage and were blessed to have everything come to a head quickly and then get resolved pretty quickly. Try staying mad at someone you share a bed with, share an office with, and share responsibility with; the problems don't go away with distance because there is no distance. Like I said, that made for some more difficult moments, but the outcome is that our marriage rocks; we have worked out so much in such a short period of time that we enjoy each other alot more.

Just about when we were feeling comfortable doing the apprentice thing, our leadership decided that we want to expand our church's role and maximize our leadership. That involved our Youth Ministry Pastor moving into other areas, and Anni and I filling that void in Youth Ministry. We were promoted to Student Ministry Directors in December and now enjoy the challenges of leading two ministries instead of just one.

One thing I think I was good at before was being a college guy. everyone knows the type, pretty irresponsible (and I enjoyed that), late for stuff, bad at communicating, just happy doing my own thing. When I got married it was a little weird at first. I knew how to be a college guy, I felt like i was pretty good at that, I had a grasp of LA as my home; but when I got married that stuff was supposed to change. To say the least it doesn't really feel like much changes at first, yea there are the obvious things (sharing a bed and a constant companion) but you don't necessarily feel any different. I feel blessed that in 2007 even though I don't really know what it means to be a husband, at least I feel like one and Annie and I feel like we are a real family. To me this is a giant and monumental thing that when you try to put it into words makes you sound like a second-grader. But the truth of the matter is, when you get married things are different, and it doesn't feel like it at first, but slowly that changes and instead of feeling like we are a couple, I feel like we are a family.

Then comes the bomb. right around the time we celebrated our first anniversary and I turned 24, it hits. Annie is pregnant and our world is about to change 2 years earlier than planned. Like I said, I don't really know what it means to be a husband and I am doing the best I can to live that out, but i had just begun to fee the reality of it. Now I am faced with this fast approaching new reality. A two foot wonder of existence that depends on Annie and I for everything. I think God gave us pregnancy so we could have 9-10 months to mentally prepare for being responsible to make a good person, but right now even that isn't feeling like a ton of time. It's awesome though, and aside from Annie's terrible sickness, I really enjoy this process.

Well, I am running out of time. One of my students is going to the beach and I need to get out there and bodysurf with him, maybe try to bring another student in the process. Yes these are the perils of working with youth in Hawaii. Anyway, this is where I've been and where I am. Stay tuned for where I am going. Until then, peace